How to lose weight quickly and easily for free accidentally - IBS and food allergy edition

Sometimes without warning it can feel like my stomach is a beach ball being inflated , it feels likes if it expands any more its going to explode like that scene in Downton Abbey where Earl Grantham's stomach ulcer bust.

Only it's just gas, and I'm probably just going to keep cramping, burping and trumping for a few hours instead.

Then when it's finally over (usually within a day) my stomach looks toned and flatter than before for a few hours until it returns back to normal, It feels nice briefly because the cramping as stopped, I'm no longer bloated and it feels and looks better.

 But then I remember that some people actually buy laxative inducing products for the exact same effect and I suddenly don't feel so good anymore.

IBS is awful, trust me you don't want to inflict this kind of thing on yourself. The cramping, the exhaustion and all the time spent on the toilet really isn't worth anything good. I don't have a problem with my weight, I just wished IBS didn't make me bloat.

According to research on eating disorders in 2012 form eating disorder charity B-eat out the 194 people they surveyed with eating disorders 158 of them had used laxatives in relation to their eating disorder. Out of those 158 over half of them felt they had developed an addiction.

Taking Laxatives does not make you lose weight, neither does triggering food allergies to make yourself sick.

Laxatives mostly effect the large intestines and bowels, food intake in absorbed through the small intestines so all laxatives are doing is clearing the bowels and dehydrating you.

Dehydration is dangerous and long term laxative abuse can cause damage to your bowels and even organ failure.

I find this really upsetting,  if you do ever find your self turning to laxatives or trying to trigger allergies for the sake of weight loss please, please see someone. Go see a nutritionist or a doctor.

I'm sorry if you came here looking for weight loss advice, this isn't really that kind of blog.

Gluten free Bagels

These are Meant to be Bagels. I put Blueberry's in one of them.

"Isabel's  Baking made easy Gluten Free Pizza Base Mix" Has a recipe on the side of the box on how to make bagels out of the pizza base mix and I'm really sorry Isabel but they were awful.

I doubt it was you, It was Probably me. The pizza's are really good but the bagels didn't do it for me.
They were doughy in the middle and plasticy on the outside.

Don't too be too dishearted I didn't like Udi's Gluten free Chocolate Bagels either.

Sorry Udi. It's just not like an Actual glutnous bagel, do you know what I mean?
Bagels are meant to be thick, moist and bready. Not so dry that your saliva is sucked out of your mouth.

I miss Gluten and I hate my Guts.

Microwave Mochi

I attempted to make Mochi the other day, it was actually pretty good.

I'm still pretty cut up about not having nice gluten and lactose filled cake and biscuits that I used to have at lunch times and mutilating a perfectly good cake or biscuit recipe with gluten free this and lactose free that doesn't make it any better.

Mochi is a great cake/biscuit replacement because whilst it's made from glutinous rice flour it doesn't contain gluten, the dough is very versatile used in sweet and savory dishes, it's easy to make.
As the main ingredients are IBS Friendly I don't need to substitute anything and hope for the best. You can play around with flavours, colour and purpose of your mochi but I completely winged it and shoved vanilla essence in it (which I couldn't taste anyway) and made it green. I then I put some coconut from a graze packet in the middle.

A teaspoon of dessicated coconut probably would've worked better then a few flakes of dried coconut, I wouldn't suggest putting flavours in this recipe unless you are prepared to make it strong as the sugar will drown what ever you put in it. (I tried it with green tea and I couldn't taste it either.)

This recipe contains a lot of sugar but I tried a recipe with less sugar and it wasn't as happy with it.

I will probably return to this recipe as it's really versatile, I would like to make a Mochi cake at some point.

This recipe comes from DINKYPIE on allrecipes.com.

Mochi (easy)

Makes a decent amount of dough.

For dough :

192g of Glutinous Rice Flour
201g (5oz) of Granulated Sugar
350ml of Water
2 drops of White Vinegar

For Dusting :
50g of Corn Flour
50g of Icing Sugar

1. Mix the Rice Flour and Sugar. Add the Water and Vinegar and mix until smooth.

2. Put the mixture in a microwaveable bowl, parcially cover the bowl and microwave for 8 to 10 minutes.

3. once its cooked allow it to cool, then you can manipulate the dough into shapes (this is when it can be filled) then coat in the dusting. I often find the there is a hard skin on the top for some reason (probably because I don't cover it properly) if there is a skin and you don't like it inside the Mochi (it ruins the consistency) the skin can be picked off.



  

Gluten Free Vanilla-Filled Chocolate Cookies - It ended horribly.

Recently I've been diagnosed with IBS and I am now following a Low FODMAP diet and it is dreadful.

I really REALLY love food and now most of the foods I used to love give me tummy cramps, urgent trips to the toilet and inappropriate, obvious flatulence. As much as I miss them and as great as they may be, cakes are really not worth it any more.

Take this as a warning, I am not a doctor, baker, dietician, food scientist/wizard who knows what they are doing. I am a terrible cook who just wants to enjoy food but because anything that is low in or free from gluten, lactose, fructose and all the other things I should be eating less of are hard to come by/are disgusting I am trying to make alternatives to tasty things I used to eat.

I brought "The Hummingbird Bakery life is Sweet" cook book which is honestly a really stupid thing to buy because it isn't a cook book dedicated to making tasty low FODMAP treats. Its a book that shows you how to make cakes, pies, ice creams that will ruin me and make work the next day an unproductive hell.

I think I brought the book as kind of an "up yours" to my guts because I want to have my cake and enjoy it. I also have another Hummingbird Bakery cook book which I really love.
 I thought I could just substitute wheat flour and milk for their gluten and lactose free counterparts and it would be fine.

They had a Recipe for OREOS  "Vanilla-filled Chocolate Cookies".
My Gluten free OREOS melted together into a runny sugary chocolate slab.
I threw it in the bin.

To be honest I am an awful cook, I did use gluten free flour and old sugary hot chocolate powder from Aldi so the actual Hummingbird Bakery recipe is probably really good.
There was probably nothing wrong with the flour either because I am a terrible cook and the problem seemed to be too much sugar.

I tried.

There are Gluten free OREOS "Chocolate Vanilla Crème Cookies" online and there are plenty of recipes so fret not if you came here looking for OREOS  "Vanilla-filled Chocolate Cookies" because it is possible, just not here.
I wouldn't follow my recipe because it was a disaster.
I feel like this post is more of an awareness post than a helpful recipe post but if you want a challenge and think you can do something with my recipe I'll post it below. And please comment your results if it actually works because I'm desperate for cakes and cookies.

Thank you. Bye.

"Vanilla-filled Chocolate Cookies Gluten free Variation"

Makes a baking tray sized slab of nasty.

For the cookies:

170g (6oz) of Doves Farm Gluten Free Plain Flour
90g (3oz) of Cocoa Powder
1 tsp Bicarbonate of Soda
1/4 tsp of Baking Powder
1/4 tsp of Salt
140g (5oz) of Unsalted Butter
320g (11oz) of Caster Sugar + Extra
1 Egg

For the Cream Filling:

225g (8oz) of Unsalted Butter
435g (15 1/2 oz) of Icing Sugar
1tbsp Vanilla Extract

1. Preheat the oven to 190°C/375°F/ Gas mark 5. Line three baking sheets with parchment paper.

2. Mix dry cookie ingredients minus the sugar.

3. Cream the Butter and Sugar until fluffy then add the Egg until it makes a dough.

4. Scoop out dough using a teaspoon and roll the dough into a ball, press them flat onto the baking parchment using the bottom of a glass coated in caster sugar.

5. Bake for 10 minutes, when done let them cool.

6. to make the filling beat the Butter until soft, then add the Icing Sugar carefully.
beat until light and fluffy, add the vanilla and beat until fully incorporated.

7. Put the filling into a piping bag, pipe the cream onto 1 of 2 cookies leaving some room around the edge then press the second cookie on top.